appreciate

i was on the phone at work, the other day. my officemate and her assistant were sitting across from me. the person on the other side of my phone had just said they'd give me a big break on a hotel room i was booking for the tech rep coming in next week. i was grateful. before hanging up, i said, 'thanks so much. i appreciate it.' i hung up. both girls burst out laughing, glanced at me, looked at each other, and doubled over. i asked what was up. clearly, it had to do with me. 'everyone in the office laughs at you! you say you appreciate it! we indians never say that! it doesn't make any sense - appreciate?! you talk so funny. hahahahaha!'

i have to admit - it pissed me off ... don't tell me how to speak my own language!! that was not a good india day.

menstrual mantra

i've started yoga. three times a week, a woman comes to our flat and trains me for an hour in traditional yoga. it's slow, methodical stretching, involving just as much mental energy as it does physical. it's not the fitnessy-weight loss-inducing yoga i'm used to - but it's nice, it feels good, i'm sore afterward, and i'm already feeling more flexible and able to fall sleep easier than i was when i started nearly a month ago. so i'm happy with it.

my teacher is an indian who grew up in australia. she spent the past 6 years living in an ashram in northern india. the 5 years previous to that were also spent in an ashram, off and on. she knows what she's doing. she tells me all these crazy stories about people who've cured their cancer through traditional yoga and meditation, just like what she's teaching me. i usually just smile when she says things like this. i WANT to believe that if something horrible health-wise happens to me (knock on wood) that i'll be able to get rid of it by doing what i'm learning, but i'm also a firm believer in science, medicine, and doctors - which tend to have a pretty great success record in curing diseases, as well. and so much of that is luck anyway, right?

anyway - she thinks of herself as a sort of little healer, and whatever - why not?!

so today we were going through my routine and she noticed i wasn't doing so well. i told her that i'd just started my "charms" (as it's called here in india), and i had dreadfully painful cramps. she yelled at me for not telling her in the first place, and then changed my routine to help deal with the pain.

the end of the routine is normally spent laying on my back, focusing on relaxing and meditating. it's a somewhat brain-intensive sort of concentration on relaxing and whatnot, as she talks and tells me what to think about. today she focused on my problem. she told me to put my hands on my lower abdomen, to focus all of my energy there, and to repeat what she called my menstrual mantra, "my uterus is relaxed. my uterus is relaxed. my cervix is relaxed. my cervix is relaxed. my vagina is relaxed. my vagina is relaxed." repeat, repeat, repeat.

i was up until that point feeling quite relaxed, the pain in my girly parts had actually subsided. that was not to last. i burst out laughing, she got annoyed, and my lower abdomen knotted up in cramps again.

oh well. i'll try again next month.

missing package mystery solved

way back around thanksgiving, my mom sent me a package. i had asked her for licorice, emergen-c packets, and crossword books. it never came. m said it was because i had never tipped our postman. i say that's rubbish, and he shouldn't be expecting a tip - he gets paid to do his job! and besides ... that postman was always super rude. i was upset over never getting the package, but chalked it up to good ol' india and part of the whole experience. yesterday, i got this email from my mom:

Hi, guess what I got in the mail today? The package I mailed to you way back when of licorice, vitamin powders, and a crossword book! It had a stamp on it that said "examined" and I peeked inside, it was gross, and the licorice bag was there but empty. It had something black in the bottom, I didn't dare look any deeper into it! It was like sewn shut and taped on the other end and so dirty! Let me know if you get the postcard I send to you from the beach. Lots of love, mom

INDIAAAAA!!

(i think my favorite part of the email is my mom's use of the word LIKE in this sentence: "It was like sewn shut and taped on the other end and so dirty!" ... it's like cute.)

j.o.b.

alright, alright already.  

i've been working, and does anyone really want to hear about that?  it's so booooring.  it's just an office with horrible fluorescent lighting, bad lunch options, very, very few other women, hundreds of local, smelly day laborers, and way too many american deep-south construction dudes.  all applicable stereotypes absolutely apply.

there's the one who brags about his wife, who he picked up in honduras for twenty-six dollars.  she's half his age and is gonna give him a baby any day now.

and the others, with their bragging.  they forget there's an english-speaking/understanding female around, and gossip outside my window, taking their smoke breaks.  i know which ones prefer straight-up hookers and which ones like a bit more of a challenge and go for the dancing girls, i know which ones prefer which sexual positions, i know which ones have live-in ladies (mostly because i have to yell at them) - and i definitely know which of them are married!  i've had to talk to jilted girlfriends when the dude's wife has returned and said local girlfriend gets left high and dry.  i've had to fight with these same women to get back things belonging to the company (microwaves, toaster ovens, vases), which they were given by said departing dude, trying to buy their calm and silence while the wife was in town.

these are guys who LOVE and are excited about the fact that their lunch options are limited to pizza hut, dominos, subway, and kfc.  (and believe me, as unhealthy as this crap is in the states, it's got NOTHING on the level of nasty it holds here.)  these are also guys who come to me when there's a burnt-out light bulb in their flat, and demand that my guys come out and replace it.  i babysit rough, redneck, hillbilly, hick southern construction dudes, who are really just big sissies, for a living.   do you really want to hear more about that??

different subject.  pushpa obviously does not, contrary to what she said in her interview, read english.  i wrote her a note, asking her not to do laundry anymore on fridays.  we don't have a dryer, and don't like having a quarter of our living room taken up by the giant clothes rack the entire weekend.  well, it's monday today, and she didn't touch the laundry - she thought the note said she didn't have to do laundry anymore at all.  which means the basket's overflowing, and i'm laying in stinky, dirty sheets.  ugh.  i don't sound spoiled or bitchy, do i?  ... good, thanks, i didn't think so.  

resurfacing

wow.  what a roller coaster.  there were times in the past month when i was so stressed, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed and just overall yuck that it just did not make sense to write.  seriously, who wants to listen to a girl whine?!  it's not like there aren't people out there, all around (some of you reading this blog), who are in MUCH worse situations.  ...  so, now that things are on an upswing again, i'll catch you up ...

in december (or was it november?), we found a new flat.  the one we had just moved into was horrible, and we gave our notice the same week we moved in.  the one we found was awesome, cheaper, and the owner seemed really nice.  we gave him a little 'token money' to hold the flat empty for us until february 15th, when we could move in.  well ... at the end of january, he changed his mind about accepting cash for rent.  he would accept nothing but local checks, and there was no getting around it.  we've never had a bank account here.  neither of us earn money here, and it just didn't seem necessary to keep money in an account here.  so, disappointed and with only 2 weeks to find one, we got back on the flat hunt.

after a few days, we saw the incredible flat i mentioned in a previous post.  we met the owner, negotiated, shook hands, reviewed the paperwork, then got to the point of signing the paperwork, and the owner disappeared for a couple days, only to resurface demanding more money.  and backing out on things he had previously agreed to, put into writing, and was supposedly ready to sign on.  we loved the flat so much (this was the first time we'd seen a place that we both actually liked ... like, REALLY liked!), we gave in to pretty much everything he said, besides the extra money ... and he still wouldn't move forward.  

in the week this took to happen, we put a back-up offer on another place.  not as nice, but still great.  the owner agreed to our verbal offer, and when he came back from a biz trip, we all met in person to finalize the deal.  at that point, he too changed his mind about the price and payment terms.  seems people have become extremely averse to cash.  if we could pay by check, he'd keep the payment terms.  otherwise, he now wanted 11 months advance rent upfront.  we walked out of that meeting.  ... this was already 5 days into the month, and we had to be out by the 15th.  

we kept looking, and literally anything that didn't completely suck, we made an offer on.  we made something like 12 offers.  all rejected.  people refusing to take cash, or remove their furniture, or not wanting to rent to foreigners or individuals (versus a company lease).  we made arrangements with friends ... we had 3 different friends we were planning to stay with, depending on how long we needed, and another with an empty flat who wasn't interested in letting us live there, but would let us use it to store all our furniture and appliances in.  we called our then landlord and talked her into giving us 2 more days.  great.  so we now had until the 17th, a little less than a week.  we had no choice but to open an indian bank account.  if NO ONE was going to take our cash, and this was the one problem we were having almost every time, we simply had to adjust. 

the day after i opened the account, we heard that the ORIGINAL place we were to move into, the one we found in december, was officially back on the market.  we looked at it again, made our same offer which the owner accepted, i signed the paperwork late in the day on the 16th, the movers came on the 17th, and we were in, with NO TIME to spare.  yeesh.  there were times during those couple weeks where we were in the depths of despair, trying not to panic, wondering what the hell we were gonna do.  we even started seriously considering moving to delhi.  or calcutta.  

so, anyhoo, we're in, we love it, and we've got a goal.  with a few more furnishings and some mood lighting (fluorescent tubes do not a party make), we'll be ready for a housewarming and birthday party for m.  end of the month ... 

almost ...

we are THIS close to signing the agreement on a fantastic flat.  i have pictures, but don't want to post them until it's a done deal.  there have been too many last-minute changes, surprises, and reversals of promises for me to feel confident, yet.  but the final language should be arriving in my inbox any minute ... and if the owner can just stick to what he's said this time, we'll be moving into a big, light-filled, private and quiet, modern place with a balcony, 3rd bedroom, and unfettered access to a rooftop terrace!  eeeee!  i'm giddy.

ok.  that's enough of that.  no jinxing it, now.  it's just that we need to be out of our current place in 11 days.  so the pressure is on, and if we can work this one out, we'll both be MUCH happier ...  as everything else we've seen pales in comparison in terms of ... well, everything!

... and, we've actually found a broker we really, really, really like.  she's normal, tough, down-to-earth, a fighter, owns a car, and is HONEST.  she is the only one of her breed in this city, and we're stoked we have her.

the pigeon fetuses are gone.  two days after posting those pictures, i woke up and checked on them.  one was missing, and the other was smashed, yellow yolk all over the concrete.  ew.  i don't know if the mother felt unsafe there and killed them, or if the crows smelled competition and attacked.  

sara's living with us now.  you may remember her from blogs past.  she's one of our favorite people here, and has been an invaluable friend.  so when she said she needed a room for the gap between one lease and the next, we were happy to give her the 3rd bedroom.  especially since she shares her very expensive french wine and cheese and foie gras and truffles with us!  

birds

i've been cursing the damn pigeons.  they are EVERY-effing-where.  and the poop on every-effing-thing, and are serious nuisances.  they've instigated war ...  building nests on our balconies.  nearly every day i have to pick up the twigs, leaves, hair, feathers, random trash and toss it because it's causing a real mess.  well, today the drama ended, and a new drama began.  they've won the war ... i've traded my anger for excitement and intrigue ... for they've laid eggs!  this is awesome!  

when the parents aren't sitting on the nest, they perch directly across, on the building next door, and keep guard.  

it's infinitely entertaining.  hopefully they hatch before we move.  we're supposed to be in a new flat by the 15th of february.  does anyone know how long it takes for baby pigeons to ripen?

i almost forgot about this guy!

rajasthan

moo

we came home to some ridiculous drama, thanks to our last broker.  he is a super shady character, and due to this and so many lies told on his part, we are in a position with him that is not ... how do i say this diplomatically?  ... he was upset, went to the police, threatened us, we then voluntarily went to the police as well, with a well-connected friend of a friend ... they called in the broker, and after hearing both sides of the story, sent the broker on his way with his tail between his legs and a SERIOUS tongue-lashing.  he shouldn't be contacting us again.  finally.

we're thankful for our amazing friends, and their willingness to help out when asked!!  the last thing i ever wanted to do here was visit a police station, and i'm so happy they were fair and pleasant and that we had someone willing to lend a hand.